Revelation
by SaxyBubbles
Summary: Casshern stumbles upon someone who holds the key to his past. But both of them are misguided by confusion and devastation. Will they keep going around in circles? Or can Casshern break away from his past and start anew? A journey unfolds as Casshern and the familiar stranger tries to find out who or what they really are in a world of ruination.
1. Revelation

"What am I?"

His voice was hoarse. The look in his eyes tore my heart. It was filled with anguish, self-loathing and confusion. But the truth, I couldn't tell him. If he knew, he would never forgive himself. He would not, even if he could. Sensing my hesitation, he grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard.

"You know. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me!"

It was useless to lie. We were created to detect lies. So that we could eliminate any enemies that disguised themselves to get close to us. So I could only remain silent. It seemed that he knew this too.

"Why? Why won't you tell me? Please..."

He buried his head in my neck and slumped against me. His shoulders were shaking. He was crying. My heart shattered. He was never afraid to show his tears. A long time ago, when we were still young, we made a promise. He had forgotten all about it. But his body did not.

We promised that we would cry only in each other's arms, as the closest of friends. If we were together, that is. But we had to part ways eventually. And for many years, I have shed tears alone. I wondered about him...

"Am I really what they say I am? Am I a monster?"

His voice, although muffled, was overflowing with pain. He didn't deserve this. He wasn't a monster. He didn't posess the capability of being one. To be a monster, one had to be cruel and twisted. One had to be heartless. One must live to kill.

No, he was far from a monster. He _abhors_ violence. He killed, only because he had to. Our survival instinct is very strong. So much more than the others. When we get ambushed, we made sure all our enemies were annihilated. When we attacked our enemies, we did it quietly, quickly and we left no survivors. Perhaps this was why we are such efficient killers. Perhaps this was why we were created.

"My name? What they are calling me, is that my real name?"

His voice was bleak. He lifted his tear drenched face to mine. Now, his eyes were empty except for utter damnation. He had given up. The realization hit me hard. All breath was knocked out of me. I couldn't do this anymore. Hurting him, hurting me. I'm so tired, so weary.

Why wasn't he fighting and forcing the truth out of me?

My eyes widened at that thought. Did I just think that? No. No. No. No! I was such a hypocrite.

I told myself it's all for his sake. The messed up truth is that, I just wanted to prove to myself that he was a _monster_. I looked into his eyes. No, he's no monster. I was more of one than he would ever be. Some part of me was probably enjoying the prospect of him in pain. Some part of me was probably withholding the information just to see him writhe and grovel in despair. But that's not who I am. That was what they want me to be, that was what they programmed me to be. I won't let them change me into something sick and perverse like them. _I won't_.

"Will I be affected by the ruin? Can I _die_?"

The ruin was coming. The breeze that came this way carried the cloying smell of death. Although it would never affect me, affect us, physically. We can't die. But, it would still affect us all the same. When death was all around us, there was no way things can stay the same. Perhaps I wanted him to kill me. I doubt I can still retain my sanity when the ruin comes. And I don't want to lose myself. He felt the same way, it was quite obvious. I could hear the way the word 'die' left his lips. Such a morbid word, but he had whispered it with _hope_. We know, we will never be the same. Devastation changes _everything_.

"The ruin. Is it my fault?"

He was the one that brought the ruin. But he was not the one responsible. The one responsible for the ruin was gone. Soon, we would be all that's left of what once was. A constant reminder to nobody how fragile the world truly was.

"What will happen to us?"

He was trembling. Holding him close to me, I could feel the tremors of his body. We are the only two that will survive the ruin. Even those that were created like us, created with us, cannot last through it. We are intricately linked together. Our fates are inexorably intertwined. When he killed her, an immortal, it was also as if I did it too. The crimes that he committed, I am also guilty of them. Now that he can't die, neither can I.

I've tried. And failed.

Tenderly, I stroked his face. I can't blame him for this cursed immortality though.

He didn't wish for this. He was not to blame for this. Even if it was his fault, I would still forgive him. Without rhyme or reason, I would do anything for him. Although, when there is nothing left in this wasteland, what will become of us? Can we handle the emptiness? When we look around us, seeing vast spaces of nothing and knowing that will be what we have left for all eternity, what will become of us? Will we just drift from nowhere to nowhere?

I'm terrified. I've seen him gone into a bout of madness a while ago, and I realized something. This is what I'll become when I've finally lost my mind. Without even realizing it, I have also been having these fits of insanity. Even though I'm able to recover from them, sooner or later I'll let go of the reins to my control and succumb to the temptations of utter madness. I looked into his eyes again. Once bright and fierce, now it had dulled like a flame burned out, into a dead and impassive blue.

Oh, how the mighty have _fallen_. Insanity awaits us. Death sounds so comforting. I envied the others. I'm so tired of the pain. So sick of grief. But they're all what's left of my sanity. Even so, I could feel it slipping away from my clumsy fingers. Thread by thread.

The end is near. A roar. A scream. The ground shakes. The beginning of the end has arrived. I took his hands, held them between mine.

"_Casshern_."


	2. Liability

**-Author's Note-**

**As you may notice, it is quite disjointed.**

**I'll try my best for the next one, I promise!**

**SaxyBubbles**

**-Author's Note-**

* * *

He stiffened. Snatching his hands back, he stared as they began to tremble. He knew it all along. The loss of memory was just another excuse to keep himself comfortably wrapped in the warm, velvety cloak of self-denial and ignorance against the cold, harsh truth.

_Casshern. Casshern. Casshern._

Barking out a dry laugh, he ran a hand through his unruly hair as the weight of that word bore down on his heart.

It was his name.

_Casshern._

The sliver of hope which was just dancing within his grasp vanished. It didn't shatter. It simply disappeared. There was nothing left. And damn if it didn't hurt. Just one word and it was enough to throw him into the depth of despair. He wanted to wish, to believe that there was something good about his name. About him. But it was impossible. He couldn't even bring himself to do it. Pathetic. All he could feel were anger, fear and pure disgust.

_Casshern._

Why was it then, if he had despised it so much, that he had always responded to it?

_Casshern._

Subconsciously, he had already acknowldged it belonged to him. Had already begun to yearn for it. That deep pit within him wanted more. Needed more.

_Casshern._

But he doesn't want to want these things. He cringed from the dark needs of his body. What had they done to him? Who were the "they"? Who is he? These bloodthirsty urges, will they ever disappear?

_Casshern._

So many questions, slowly driving him mad. But he fears of the answers most. What if the answers to these mindless questions prove the one thing he dreads most? What if they prove he is what they claim he is, and worse?

_Casshern._

But it can't be..right? There is just no way that could happen. He squeezed his eyes shut. Feeling a warm body, he held onto it like a drowning man.

_Casshern. Casshern. Casshern. Casshern. Casshe-_

"..No! Stop. Stop it. I can't handle this anymore. I.."

He broke off with a sob. He could hear the voices of the robots he destroyed. Their voices. Taunting him, mocking him. More and more joining in. Getting closer and closer. His eyes shot open wide and rapidly darted around. He pushed the body away and fisted his hands in his hair, letting out a piercing scream.

Perhaps he is already insane. This person infront of him, who had just stared at him the entire time, who exactly is the person? They look identical, but with contrasting features. It was like looking into a mirror of another realm. Where he has blue eyes, the person has a pair of smoldering red ones. His dark hair, the person's silvery grey ones. The snowy white body suit in contrast to the person's raven black suit. And also the gleaming red "C" on his chest, was a flaming blue inverted "C" on the person's.

Something about the person infront tugged at his memory, but he couldn't recall anything. His mind was in a whirl, slowly descending into darkness. But he knew one thing for sure.

This person knew everything.

* * *

**-Author's Request-**

**Honestly,**

**I have yet to decide what the**

**mysterious character's gender will be.**

**So perhaps you can help me out by**

**leaving me suggestions and things like that :)**

**Thank you!**

**SaxyBubbles**

**-Author's Request-**


	3. Beginnings Variation 1

**Author's Warning:**

**This chapter contains romance and passion. There will be kissing scenes. For those not interested in romance, I am doing another version call "Beginnings - Variation 2". It will take quite a while, so please be patient :)**

I hesitated. If only the confirmation of his name could send him into such panicked frenzy, then the whole truth would doom him to madness.

I want to comfort him. I want to hold him. I want to chase away his nightmares. I want his smile.

I need to protect him.

But, I thought as a gently caressed his tear-stained cheek, it's impossible. For him, for us, it's too late.

His eyes revealed everything. The fear and uncertainty at first, then pure numbing shock when I told him his name. Followed by utter devastation and damnation.

I could remember how he held on to me as he trembled, how he screamed. How he cried.

I had to do something for him. But what? What could I do? If I told him what he had done, it would surely destroy him.

"I don't want this anymore."

He sounded so weary. My heart ached for him. Always for him. But there was nothing I could do to ease it. Other than the truth, I had nothing.

"_I'm sorry_."

Wrapping my arms around him, I tucked my head into the crook of his neck and breathed him in. I held him tighter.

I missed this.

Slowly, I could feel his tension seep out of his body. My hands trailed down his chest as I pressed my lips against his neck.

He pushed me away and grabbed my face. His eyes, which was so dull before, sparked to life. I stared into them. They say the eyes are windows to the soul. I pray it not be true. For in those shimmering eyes, lay secrets that were never meant to be revealed. Breaking from his relentless gaze, my eyes settled on his lips.

I want to taste it.

Cupping his face in my hands, I slowly brought him closer. I could feel his breath, hot and steady. His fingers tightened on my face as he closed the distance and crushed his lips against mine.

_Finally._

The taste of him, strong and masculine, flooded my senses. I couldn't think. All I knew was that I wanted more. Needed more.

He nipped at my bottom lip, demanding entrance. Without hesitation, I opened for him. His tongue darted in and we warred for dominance. His eyes never left mine. Under those passionate eyes, I yielded. Taking the lead, he started trailing kisses down my throat.

I felt a sharp pain on my shoulder. I tried to jerk away, but he held me in place. He had bitten me. Then there was a soothing, ticklish wetness. How sly, caressing the bite with his tongue. I brought his face up to mine again. I couldn't get enough of him. I fisted my hands in his hair and drew him even closer. A purr rumbled deep in my throat. Hot blood pulsed through me. He took, I gave. He demanded, I complied. I whimpered as he drove me deeper and deeper into desire, into madness.

Greedily, he took. Again and again, he took. If this could help him ease his mind, then I'd give him forever within the short time we have.

With a gasp, he tore his mouth away from mine. I almost dragged his head back down, but stopped myself. I knew. It's over. The magic is gone. But I could still feel his lips on mine, still taste him on my tongue. My body was burning, sparks and tingles of desire running through my body.

He was staring at me. Trying to understand what had just happened. Trying to understand _why_had it happened. If only he knew. If he had, then he would know that matters like these are not meant to be understood.

A fragment of my thoughts must have shown on my face. His eyes widened and he flung me away. Caught unprepared, I crashed into a sea of jagged rocks. Dazed, I tried to look around but a hot searing pain jolted through my neck. I tried to speak, but there were only wet, gurgling sounds.

Even in this pain-induced haze, it was pretty clear that one of the rocks pierced through my throat. No, I wouldn't die. Such a mild injury, albeit the immense pain, is not even enough to activate my survival instincts. Also, like Casshern, I am seemingly "immortal". But the healing process is going to be hell. It always is. Even for small injuries like scratches and cuts, the heal is always worse than the injury itself. Those suffering from the ruin would do anything for such an ability, but I would do anything to get rid of it. Ironic, isn't it?

The wounds are already closing. I have to hurry. I could feel shards of the rocks embedded in my body. I paid them no mind. The priority now is removing the foreign object from me. Reaching behind me, I broke off the end, separating it from the ground. As I propelled myself upright, I could see a pair of glowing blue eyes.

Ah, I thought as I pulled the rock out of my throat.

He's waiting.

I braced myself for the pain. It wasn't quick, but slow and intense. Everytime, it hurts in a different way. Each time seems to be worse than the last. The sheer pain emitted something akin to a force field. Everything within the radius of the force field disintegrated. First, my body feels empty, light. Then a horrible pressure compressed my neck and throat as the flesh begins to heal. I opened my mouth to scream, but the vocal chords have yet to heal. All that came out was a whisper of breath.

It burns. The skin stretches and pulls. The mangled flesh pulses and grows. The bones break and reforms. It burns.

Oh God. The agony.

I want to run. I want to run away from the pain, from the insanity, from everything. But I can't move. A pressure. A pressure so heavy and thick that it renders me completely immobile. My muscles are trembling, trying not to collapse.

A scream sounded in the distance. Was it Casshern? It must be. There are no others here anymore. Ever since..

How long ago was it? I have completely no clue. It could have been months, days, years or weeks. Maybe even hours and minutes. Who really cares anymore? Time has stopped, for Casshern and I. Who knows when it might start again? Who knows if it will ever start again?

My throat, still healing, was sore. This is unusual. Other than the pain, there should be no other feeling. Unless..

The scream was mine.

It makes sense now. There was never any reason for Casshern to scream. He was now in what I call his "warrior zone" or "insanity phase", waiting for me.

The pain eased. Finally, it eased. Even though it hadn't ceased, it was a significant decrease. The pressure eased, the relief made me weak and I fell. Before the darkness engulfed me, I saw that the sky was a shimmering scarlet.

Ah, how beautiful.

I know naught of the time I spent unconscious. There was nothing. Nothing but darkness. Nothing to indicate what is happening while I'm asleep. Within the black sea, there suddenly appeared two blue spots.

_Casshern._

I snapped awake.

My fingers were wrapped around his throat and my fist was poised above his face, ready to strike.

I lost it again. The realization slammed into me like a brick wall. Depression settled in my heart like a cloud. A ragged sob escaped my lips. This is what I feared most.

I can't remove my fingers. I can't even move. It was like just now, except that there was nothing stopping me.

_Nothing but these violent urges._

One swing. Just one swing and my fist would connect with his jaw. How far would he fly? Would his jawbone break? Perhaps the force of my blow would cause his head to swivel at such a speed that breaks his neck.

_Break his neck._

That's another idea. My fingers itched to just press down. I could feel his neck, strong yet slender. So easily, I could break his neck so easily. I could already imagine the feel of it. The subtle snap of his bones as it finally gives in to the pressure of my fingers. The firmness of his flesh, enhanced by the titanium running in our bodies. We _are _robots after all. It wouldn't be proper not to have metal compounds in our bodies. Or so he says. Him, the one that created us. The one truly responsible for the ruin.

My cheeks are wet. I could feel droplets of water dripping onto my arms. Is it raining?

He looked at me. Then lifted his hand to stroke my face. It was surprising that he would initiate such physical contact. Even before, it was always me who clung on to him. Gently, he pried my fingers away from his neck. His brows furrowed slightly.

"Tears. You're crying. Why?"

I was crying? Well, that was surprising. Sensing my astonishment, he gathered me close and kissed my tears away. The light kisses he feathered across my face sent jolts down to my toes.

"Don't cry. I..don't like it when you cry. So don't cry."

He held me tighter. My body molded into his and my arms went around him. His reluctant admission pulled at my heartstrings. My heart was filled with tenderness for this person.

"We'll get through this. Together."

At his words, my heart skipped a beat. Those are the same words he said to me before. Before, when everything was normal. When I was his.

And he was mine.


	4. Beginnings - Variation 2

**-Author's note -**

**This version will not have any romance. It speaks of friendship that has been once lost and found again. This version does not have any relations to Variation 1 whatsoever. Please enjoy :)**

* * *

"Tell me everything."

His voice was only a whisper, barely audible over the harsh wind and rumbling ground. But there was an odd quality, like a cat without it's claws. Or a person without _life. _Merely being alive is meaningless. Staring into his eyes, I came to that realization. Those eyes, so cold and empty. Just like this wasteland. Barren and completely void of life. Lacking in that crucial vitality these two desperately need.

I hesitated. If only the confirmation of his name could send him into such panicked frenzy, then the whole truth would doom him to madness.

He stared at me for a moment, before one side of his mouth lifted into a lopsided grin. It sent chills down my spine. His eyes, cold and vacant, gave the stretched lips an eerie aura that resembled an abandoned marionette. Or a ventriloquist's dummy desperate for a voice. It spoke of malice, of violence and pain. It _reeked _of insanity.

_I'm scared._

This is so unlike him..This is _not_ him. Where has the real Casshern gone? Probably retreated into his subconscious. This is not the person who used to wrestle with me. Neither is this the person who reluctantly went along with my mischief, and had to brave scoldings from the Boss as a result. This is definitely not the person I cried and laughed with. I share the string of destiny with Casshern. Our fates are intertwined. But I am not connected to this empty shell in front of me in any way whatsoever.

Is this is his way of coping with extreme pressure? I have never seen him like this. Sure, I've seen his destructive mode, where he lost his control, plenty of times. But that's different. It's happened to me too. We were programmed to do that. But this..is a first. He just grinned with that creepy look on his face.

Stop it. Snap out of it. I want to scream these words at him. But the words won't form, my sound won't come out. Is this what fear does to one? I can't move. I can't run. I can't even cry or scream.

I could only watch.

Watched as his hand slowly wrapped long, smooth fingers around my neck.

Unhurried and relaxed, he slowly tightened the fingers one by one.

Seeing the obvious pleasure on his face as I started to gasp in pain.

Suddenly, those blank eyes darkened. Darkened with an emotion that I can't name. Suddenly, he did not look at all like an abandoned doll. He looked like _Death._

I can't bear it. I'm losing it. I'm falling, falling, falling. It's so hard to hold on, perhaps I should just let go. It's easier to just let go and escape to a place without chaos and pain. A place with _nothing._ Even if I lose my mind, it's okay. As long as I can run away, it's fine.

My neck is throbbing, aching. The bastard. He could have snapped my neck in one smooth move. He made sure to prolong it, to make it as agonizing and torturous as possible.

_Crack._

Oh God. The sound was faint, but it reverberated through the air. His smile widened. My mouth gaped open, incoherent gargles instead of screams. Eyes rolled into the back of my head. My fingers clutched at his wrist. His fingers tightened, as mine crushed down on his wrist.

_Snap!_

Was it his wrist or my neck? I don't know, I can't tell. Probably both. The last wave of pain sent me tumbling over the edge that I was so precariously teetering on. I only know that the last thing I heard before darkness engulfed me was laughter.

It sounded hysterical and insane.

_I broke his wrist at the same time he broke my neck. My head lolled bonelessly around as he threw back his head and laughed. Everything was in a red haze. I have to annihilate him. Code red, danger. Destroy. Everything. In. Sight._

_But first, I have to heal. A painful process, but necessary._ _I grabbed Casshern_ _and flung him away.__I have to make sure he does not hinder my healing process. I want him gone, gone, gone._

_Before I destroy him._

_As he plummeted through the walls and rocks, I could hear a squeal from him. It sounded...like he was having fun. Like this is all a game. Bastard._

_I planted my feet into the ground, held my head and neck in place. A burning sensation encompassed my neck. It's starting. I smirked; this is going to be hell._

_The pain intensified._

_A series of low growls rumbled at the back of my collapsed throat before my mouth opened and released a scream._

_Tears streaked down my face as the mangled flesh starts to regenerate._

_But I couldn't move. No I can't run. There is a pressure, so thick and heavy that it renders me immobile. I never knew if it was because of the force that emitted whenever I undergo this hellish process or just the pain. But it doesn't matter anyway. It's still going to hurt either way, so I don't really care._

_The bones realigns themselves, each movement sends spears of agony through my body. The bruised flesh pulses, regaining it's former firmness through the metal compounds the the Boss added, even though we don't need it. Some lame crack that real robots should have metal stuff in them._

_Don't joke with me. I clenched my fist, and I could hear that maddening insane laughter getting closer. Red spots danced in my vision as I urged the process to quicken. I'll take whatever pain; just get it over and done with._

_I gnashed my teeth together, cursing as the bloody laughter came nearer. Spittle flew from my mouth as I tried to suppress my screams. Not enough. The pain, it isn't enough. At this rate, he'll reach me before I regain strength_.

_Now he was near enough, near enough for me to see him bouncing through the air towards me at an astonishingly slow speed._ _He bounded into the air, did a few somersaults_ _before landing clumsily on the ground._ _He then proceeded to walk a few unbalanced steps before repeating. But something happened during one of his somersaults.__He shrieked. A beam of light, a stunning cerulean blue, much like his eyes, shot through the sky. __He held suspended in the air, in that blinding pillar of light. Must be his hand._ _Despite the pain, a wave of satisfaction swept through my body. It was sweet. The sound of his shriek is like music to my ears._

_With renewed __vigour, I once again spurred the process on to full speed. Bringing the pain to a frightening new level. A wave of bright, searing pain washed over me. My neck now felt like it was about to burst, like a ball of heat expanding until my skin is stretched to the limit. My head is aching. It felt like somebody was hammering it with a sledgehammer. It was pounding, pounding, pounding. The world tilted._

_I'm falling to the ground. The beam of light where he is supposed to he dissipated, the shriek had stopped too. In fact, had stopped quite a while ago. My brain was simply too beat up to register it._ _My eyes were unfocused, everything was in a blur except for two small dots, shining in the horizon. They were blue._

_My eyes shot open. There he stood, looking down at me. His face was expressionless, his body still. Damn it. How long have I been out? How long has this bastard been staring at me? __Staring at me so blatantly. I'm gonna rip his eyes out._

_My palms flat against the ground, I prepared to push myself up. And kick his ass. But suddenly, he held out his hand. Thinking it was in retaliation, I flinched and backed away. It wasn't. He just stood there, staring at me with somber eyes. Looking at his outstretched hand, I understood what I was supposed to do. Irritating bastard. What I really want is to just tear his head off and erase him from the face of this earth. But it can't be helped. I'll let him off this time._ _I reached out my hand and took his. It was_

Warm.

Dazed, I looked blankly at the hand that enveloped mine. Long, slender fingers.

_I think they match the marks on your neck._

I froze. Where had that voice come from?

My gaze travelled from the hand, up the arm and settled on the face. Ah, as the warmth of familiarity rushed into me, I reached out a hand to touch his face.

"_Casshern._"

Softly, I sighed his name over and over again. My fingers were just a breath away from his cheek. I tugged on his hand, signaling him to lower down. As he bent down, I could see different shades of blue in his eyes. Mesmerized, I just stared. It changes in every light, pulsating with power. How pretty.

_Wouldn't it be nice to gouge them out? To __dig your fingers into his sockets, feel them cave under the pressure of your fingers? What would it feel like? What would it sound like? Imagine, that sweetly sickening "pop", soft but deafening. The wet slush of a mess that used to be his eye. Wouldn't that be even prettier?_

What?

What was that?

These thoughts, they aren't mine. They can't be. It's not me. It's what they want me to be. It's not me. It's not. I'm not..capable of such violence.

_Stop kidding yourself. We are one, you know that as well as I. We are the same. I am you, you are me. Don't try to pin this on them. Grow up you little wimp.__Your fingers are itching, your body burning. You want it, don't you? To tear him from limb to limb._

The hand on Casshern's face trembled. It couldn't be. It doesn't make any sense.

Yes, I have had violent and destructive urges, but never before had this taunting voice appeared to haunt my thoughts. And yet, I recognize that voice. Cold, harsh, and crass.

I had believed that it was just another program, a system that to protect ourselves. But I was wrong.

It was real. Or becoming real, whichever way. What I usually call "Warrior Mode", that destructive phase of insanity where I black out and my body goes on a rampage. It's gaining consciousness. No longer just mindlessly destroying. It has now developed a mind of it's own. Still destructive, but with intelligence and cold calculation.

_That's right. Finally displaying some hints of intelligence, I see. __But it might be a little too late. Once I'm strong enough, I'm gonna take over. You don't deserve this body. Enjoy it while you can, my dear._

I don't understand. I don't _want_ to understand. I can hear that sneering voice inside my head, screaming silently. My head whirled, and Casshern stared. The hand on his face fell and lay limp on my side.

_Scratch that. Let's not waste any more time. Say goodbye, __darlin'._

_S_carlet mists clouded my vision. The world is slowly getting stained a dark, sickly red. I can still sense Casshern's hand in mine, but the warmth is no longer there. I can't feel anything. Even though my body is still there, but I'm slowly slipping away. It's like I'm shrinking away in my own body.

_"...No!"_

I don't want to. I don't want to fade away. I don't want to relinquish control of my body to anybody. It's mine. And will only ever belong to me. I'll be damned if I let it go.

Baring my teeth, I sneered. But I already am. Damned and cursed. Such a tainted existence, laden with sin. Besides, I'm not alone. I let go of Casshern and pulled him up with me. After going through so much just to find him, I smirked as I drew my fist back, it would be extremely stupid of me if I leave without payback. Then I proceeded to deck his expressionless face. His head whipped to the side as he crashed into crumbling rocks and rusted metal.

"_That's for breaking my neck."_

Rubbing his face, he sat up and grinned sheepishly at me. Plucking out the piece of metal sticking out of his skin, he tossed it playfully at me. We stared at each other in silence. Such easy camaraderie, just like how we were in the past. But we were so eaten by guilt, confusion and pain, that we lost it somewhere along the way. Not to mention the fact that we were separated for so long. Within that span of time, so much has happened. If only, at that time, I had done things differently maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way.

"Hey, look at this."

I looked at him and cocked a brow. He smiled. It was a gentle one, soft and mild. The effect was no less devastating. His eyes were warm and sparkling, like the ocean on a sunny day. His lips were curved, and his face looked younger. It's Casshern. _My_ Casshern.

Until now, I had no idea how much I had missed him. It was quite a revelation, and painful one at that. From the beginning, all we had was each other. Now, till the end of forever, all we have will be each other. The voice in my head died away. This is how we were meant to be. My body felt lighter, and I could feel the beginnings of a smile creep into my face. It felt wonderful. _And yet_, my smile died away as I watched Casshern toss his head back to gaze at the sky, _I worry_. Casshern has always felt more, cared more than the rest. A sensitivity that may be lethal to killers like us. A _conscience._

It was that quality that made him stand out from the rest. And because of our destined bonds, it made me different as well. These feelings, I know them as well as he. I took a step back and measured him. He's here, I'm here. Let's make the best of it. If whatever mistakes we made in the past comes back to bite us in the ass, then we'll deal with it when the time comes.

"_Prepare yourself!"_

I bolted forward, giving him no time to react as I descended upon him and locked an arm around his neck. I twisted my body, about to fling him away. He slipped both hands under my arms and threw me back. Face full of dirt, I gave a muffled curse and he pressed my head down.

"One."

He pulled my arms behind me and restrained them with his free hand.

"Two."

He was on me now, and hooking his legs around mine.

"Three."

He flipped me over and had me up by the neck before I could blink.

Crap. I know what's coming next. Oh, crap. I won't like it one bit. Ah, damn it. Casshern's favourite wrestling move. The-

He bashed me into the ground with such a force that the ground crumbled under me. Lying in a spectacular pit in the shape of my body almost a bloody meter deep. There it is, his signature move. I groaned.

…Chokeslam.

I let out a breath of shaky air and raised my hand, gesturing feebly even though he couldn't see.

"You lose."

He peered down and hauled me out. Gasping like a fish out of water, I held out a thumbs-up to him. Perhaps it might be just muscle memory, but it still gives me hope. This is exactly like how we were. I mean, not that I lose all the time. It's just that he always used that finishing move. I wheezed and hooked an arm around his shoulder, leaning on him.

The corners of his mouth were slightly upturned. I scrunched up my face and stamped down on his foot.

"_If you have so much time to laugh, why don't you help me get moving and wipe that stupid smirk off your face while you're at it?"_

I felt him sigh, but he snaked his arm around my shoulder and supported me anyway. Though he still has that patronizing smile on his face.

"We have done this before, haven't we? There was a flash of something when I gave you the Chokeslam. It felt great."

Touched, I glanced at him. Maybe it's not too late yet. And perhaps he hasn't noticed, but he has been more expressive lately. He finally smiled, and he hasn't mentioned about his lost memories.

"_Let's go."_

"Where?"

"_It doesn't matter where. We'll get through this together. If we keep on moving, we'll reach the end sooner or later. By the way, there was a quote you taught me last time. 'Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay then it's not the end.' Besides, I have a feeling that he'll come back soon. And when he does, perhaps everything will finally end."_

"This person...Who is he? Can he stop what I started?"

I shook my head at him, lips curved. Does he really not know? Ah well, I won't tell him. With eager eyes, I looked into the horizon.

My best friend is coming back.

* * *

**-Author's note-**

**By the way, there's no friendzoning intended here :D**

**And the quote is credited to Anonymous.**

**I googled it, but there's some debate over who actually said it.**

**Either Paulo Coelho or Gabi Peralez.**

**So, Anonymous it shall be! :3**


	5. Digression - Variation 1

**Author's Rambles :**

**This is just a filler chapter.**

**I'm sorry about how slow I'm moving.**

**I AM SO SORRY.**

**Ah, this chapter is dedicated to Haru-Artemis, who helped me name this chapter.**

**-SaxyBubbles.**

* * *

Reluctantly, I squirmed out of his arms. We can indulge in our carnal desires later, if I manage to convince him into it. Reaching up, I cupped his face and gave him a light kiss. My body reacted to his taste and demanded more. _Baby steps, _I reminded myself, _baby steps. _Casshern might not be able to handle so much at once. As I turned away, he grabbed my hand and spun me around.

"Why do you do that?"

His eyes were probing, delving deep inside me, looking through me. His touch was burning. No matter how many times I feel him, the sensation never changes. It was already a part of me, something I can never forget. I used to think that I'd get used to it. But each time, it was as exciting as the first. Does he feel the same? If he does, it's pretty much a pointless question. I rose on my toes, and whispered in his ear.

_"You mean, you don't feel this?"_

With that, I nipped his ear and ran my fingers down his chest. I felt him stiffen and heard him gasp. With a satisfied grin, I gave him a light peck on the nose.

_"And there you have it."_

He frowned at me.

"That doesn't explain anything. I still don't understand."

I smacked my forehead against his shoulder.

Grumbling and muttering under my breath, I thought of a million ways I can mutilate this blockhead. But I merely grabbed his hand and dragged him over to a nearby cave. I sat him down on a rock, knelt down in front of him and cupped his face. His eyes sparked with desire, lined with confusion. I tightened my hold on his face.

And headbutted him.

I pressed my palm against my forehead, crouching on the floor and groaning in pain while the exquisite sensation of satisfaction flows through me. Casshern, however, didn't seem as affected. He was flat on the ground, had a hand on his forehead, like I do, but his stupidly irritating bland expression was on his face. Damn it.

"That..hurt." He deadpanned.

"_Oh, boo-hoo. What do you want me to do? Kiss it better? But you'll probably ask me why I did it. Big, bumbling blockhead! Can't a girl kiss a man when she wants to? Is that a crime? You and your stupid sense of logic. Have you ever thought about my needs? Don't you know? I'm a woman too! I have needs. Yes I do! What the hell is up with that expression on your face? Smile, dammit! Oh screw this. Just accept my damn kiss!"_

With that, I pounced on him, grabbed him by the shoulders and crushed my mouth to his.

I groaned, this time not in pain, but in bliss. My mouth moved avidly over his. He was a dark, forbidden feast after a pure, holy fast. I drew in his taste greedily, like a drug in a state of mindless addiction.

Passion lashed out after being tightly strapped for so long. I was planning to let it loose a little at a time. But reasoning never came in when I was with him.

I ran my tongue down his neck, ripping away anything that covered his delicious skin with my teeth. Taut skin with lean muscles underneath. Sinfully delectable.

While I was filling myself, Casshern seemed to have gotten a grip on himself. In the next two moments, his hands shot out and held me away at arms length.

Growling, I clawed at him.

_"Let me have you. I want you. I can make you want me too. Just. Let. Me. Have. One. More. Taste!"_

I struggled and thrashed about while Casshern fought to keep me off him. I can only imagine how I look like. A madwoman with lust-crazed eyes spitting obscene demands. Maybe I'll laugh about it later. Maybe I'll just bury myself under a rock.

Through that madwoman's eyes, tears filled and spilled. Her lips trembled.

_"Why won't you let me have you? Why are you doing this? Please, let me have a go at you. I'll make it feel good! Please?"_

I think I'll bury myself under that rock.

"Are you going to devour me?"

I licked my lips.

_"Affirmative._ _I have every intention to melt you like a popsicle and lap you up after. So whaddya say? Pretty sweet, ain't it?"_

"What more can you hope to gain? Even if the rumors are true, consuming me won't give you what you already have. Besides, I have decided that I won't give up my life until I find out what happened. Please stop this, I do not want to fight."

I slapped his hands away and tackled him to the ground.

"_I've made it this obvious and you _still _don't get it?"_

I straddled him, leaned over and cupped his face with one hand.

_"I'm. Horny."_

Underneath, Casshern jerked and stiffened. A blush blossomed in his cheeks. I didn't know robots could blush. Doesn't matter, at least now he understood.

I rubbed myself against him and purred. When I heard him hiss, I pressed my body against his, and smiled innocently into two bewildered eyes.

"No..No, we can't. Stop it, please."

He grounded out the words between gritted teeth.

"I..Don't do that..!"

Gasping, he dug his fingers into the ground and snarled when I ran my tongue down his chest.

_So close. Just a little more and he'll snap._

Driven by lust, I spared no thought as to how he might feel. Selfishly I charged forward, giving him no choice but to be swept away.

I slid my thigh between his legs and pressed it against him.

He choked on his next refusal and groaned in frustration.

_"Give it up. It's useless to fight against desire. Won't you accept it?"_

I was so blinded with need that I didn't see what hit me.

First I was a mass of hot, burning sensations savoring the feel and taste of a rock-hard hunk. Next thing I know, I was a mass of hot, burning sensations in hunks of hard rocks.

Dazed, I pulled myself out and inspected my body outline, carved brutally into the walls.

_Not bad, I'm in pretty good shape. Nice curves, too._

It took me a moment or two before the stars cleared and reality rained down on me. I spun around to snap at him, only to find that he was huddled in the far end of the cave. Had his arms around himself, grunting as he fought and clawed for sanity. The lashings died on my lips, sketchy apologies lodged at the back of my throat. My stomach did a slow, lazy pirouette and flipped inside out. Disgusted with myself, I slumped against the wall and covered my face with my hands. I am so stupid. Idiot, idiot, idiot! I told myself that I'd give him time. I knew that he was weak and confused. I should have guided him, helped him through it. But I was too wrapped up in my own needs, I tossed the thought away, and ruthlessly played on his weakness.

I stole a glance at him. He seemed to have calmed down. At least he wasn't shivering anymore. But he's tense. Even from here, I could feel tension emanating from him. Every fiber of his body was on full alert, muscles coiled up, ready to fight or take flight. Damn it. Things weren't supposed to turn out like this. I was supposed to care for him. I screwed it up. I screwed everything up.

I took a step towards him, and his head shot up. Eyeing me with the wary gaze of a cat as I trudged towards him. With each step, my heart sank a little deeper. With each step, my sight becomes a bit more blurred. I stood right in front of this man, eyes never leaving his. Managing a weak smile, I crouched to stroke his face for the last time. But, before my hand could brush against his cheek, he flinched and turned away. From my fingertips to the ends of my toes, I went numb. Not cold, just numb. Hoping my smile was still in place, I straightened myself.

"_See ya soon."_

It was a lie. And one of the worsts I've ever told. Because we're so good at detecting lies, we've grown as good at creating them. It's just that we don't usually have to. Most of our problems are solved with brute force, you see. We both knew that he knew I lied. But it's better this way. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I stepped out the cave. The sun was beating down on me, but there was no warmth. There was no light. A breeze swept past. It caught on my hair, played with it. Maybe it caressed my face, maybe it slapped it. I'd never know. There was nothing. My legs felt like lead. They got heavier as I got further away from Casshern. I looked down and willed them to go faster. When I looked up, the sky was dark. I stopped, looked around. And registered this place as "Shitty Nothingness". With no aim in mind, I might as well take a break. Linking my fingers under my head, I laid down and gazed into the sky. There were no stars tonight. The night was still and silent. Like how empty I am. For some reason, I feel like I'm being mocked.

Behind shut lids, Casshern's face floated into my mind.

Clenching my teeth, I tried to drive him out. But it wasn't any use. He invaded my thoughts, my dreams, my heart. It was a laughable notion though, a robot actually having a heart and _hurting _because of it. But it's far from funny. This tightening and aching in my chest. The constant longing, it's like a part of me was gone. Damn it. What exactly is this emptiness?

Letting out a whimper, I allowed myself to break down. Despair, desperation, damnation. They came out in torrents of burning tears. I turned to my side, and curled into a fetal position. The night ate up my sobs and cries till I fell asleep.

I was awakened by something nuzzling my neck. Groggy and barely conscious, the image of two blue eyes in my mind was blasted away with a pair of gleaming yellow ones staring at me. Delighted, I stroked the muzzle and wrapped my arms around the canine.

_Friender._

"_You little rascal. Where did you run off to this time?"_

I laughed as I wrestled him to the ground. He wriggled out of my grasp and circled me, crying out as he did so. An eccentric creature, he is. Now he was flat on the ground, squirming as he requested for a belly rub. It was a secret guilty pleasure that only the two of us share. Nobody would have guessed that the stoic and fierce beast would have such a whimsical fetish. I only discovered it by chance when cuddling with him. My fingers had brushed against his flank by accident and he flipped. Literally, flipped. All four paws up in the air, howling and growling. I tried stroking his flank again, and he quieted down. When I removed it, he growled again. Didn't take long to put two and two together. It was amusing though, to see him acting like a spoilt puppy

Since then, I have been supplying him with belly rubs in secret. At that time, I had nothing better to do anyway. Until Casshern stumbled onto us. We froze like rabbits caught in headlights, and started guiltily each time Casshern took a step forward. It was so embarrassing. In disbelief, Casshern uttered _"Friender?"_. That seemed to snap him out of his trance. Then he, that traitor, jumped up and ran away leaving nothing but a cloud of dust in his wake. I was left stuttering and flustering in front of the man I had been searching for.

The best I could do was wheeze out an awkward _"Hi, Casshern." _while trying for a smile that probably ended up as an awkward grimace. What happened next..well, let's not dwell on the past. Since then I haven't seen Friender, until now. His flank is smooth and gleaming, not a sign of ruination in sight. How is that possible? Is it even _probable _that the wave of destruction that swept throughout the lands have left him untouched? Brows furrowed, I grabbed his hind legs and hauled him into the air. He whined, miffed at the loss of belly rubs. My eyes scanned over his body, from the end of his tail to the tip of his ears. I found nothing. He looked normal, almost new. And fed up with being held upside down. He wiggled and tried to nip my hand. Loosening my grip, he freed himself and landed neatly on his feet.

He went behind and started nudging me.

"_What, you want a walk? I'm not in the mood now, though. How about we snuggle and sleep the day away?"_

He tackled me. I stumbled forward.

_"Aw, c'mon. A gentleman must respect a woman's wishes. Especially one like me."_

He snorted. Or came as close to one as he could.

_"Oh, that's right. You're a _dog._"_

I grumbled as he continued to lead me on a random path. Side by side, we walked. We took a break every once in a while because I insisted. It was partly due to my laziness, but mainly it was because I enjoyed annoying him, and it was fun seeing Friender all impatient and frustrated.

"_Why are you in such a hurry anyway? We have all the time in the world. Or I do, at the very least."_

I stretched out my legs and leaned against something jutting out from the ground. He growled and turned away. I think he might be throwing a tantrum.

"_Friender?"_

I reached out to pat him. Like most of the men in my life, he rejected me. Can't say it didn't hurt, because it did. And it brought Casshern back into my head again. The sun was hanging low, shadows stretched out long across the cracked, jagged ground. The sky was a blazing orange, with hints of dark, midnight blue creeping through the edges. We both were silent for the whole night.

When daylight broke, we walked once again. Wordlessly, we walked.

In all honesty, I'm not mad. I'm not mad at him because I know that there's no way he could have known what happened between Casshern and I. But still, some part of my hurting heart _resented _it. _Resented them._ I mean, I know they had their reasons for treating me like that. But still, it wasn't fair to me at all. No, I clenched my fists, it wasn't fair.

_Pay them back. A hundred fold, a thousand fold. Doomsday shall rain upon them, a dark magical wonder of black._

Yes. That's it. I'll make them pay. The world turned red, and I could only see destruction. I hissed softly.

I heard a low mechanical growl before I was tackled to the ground. He stood over me, broad chested and menacing.

_"Oh, you found out? Well that's no fun. I was planning to take you by surprise."_ I pouted and reached up, wrapping my fingers around his snout.

He shook me off with a sound of disgust. I was about to make a snide remark when, without warning, he shot, or rocketed, up into the sky.

"_What the hell are you? A bird? Sonofa-"_

And that was a sentence I never finished. The dog came down on me like a damned _missile._ He drove into my stomach. My body bent like an inverted rainbow, eyes rolled back, coughing up spittle. My hands flailed in the air before sinking down, clawing at the dry, brittle ground. My feet kicked uselessly at nothing in particular. I think I even saw stars for a moment there.

_"Damn..you.." _I wheezed.

The bastard was on me again. Nose to snout, we glared at each other. I could feel a bond forming between us. Chains linking to construct a whole web of hate. Strengthened by the determination not to be outdone, simple rivalry. Hardened by underlying trickles of fear and grudging respect for the other. Made invincible by one party's desire to destroy, and another's to protect.

Finally, one of us made a move. He walked away. I mean. there's not much point in a staring contest, is there? First of all, he doesn't even have _eyelids._ Second, we aren't even human. We don't need to blink. It could go on and on and on. But that's beside the point. He turned and shot me a look that told me "Go away". I think he meant back to wherever I came from in this body. Or to hell. I don't know. I'm not good with dogs.

_"Is this what they call 'nipping the problem in the bud'?" _I asked dryly.

In return, I got a sarcastic grunt from a dog that missilebombed the shit out of me.

"_With that attitude, I bet you'll be a hit at parties."_ I muttered as I tried to get up on my feet. Another grunt. I dusted myself off before staggering to the mutt. He stared at the ground, bored. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. That's not the way to treat me. I fisted my hands at my side. I brought my left leg back slowly, dragging it against the ground. Whispering, "_Here, you dumb piece of shit."_

And kicked.

I shielded my eyes as I squinted to see how far he flew. Pleased with myself, I slapped my knees and squealed with laughter. I haven't felt this great in ages. Thanks to that dog. Oh, Friender. Wait, Friender? A bubble of laughter dissolved on my tongue. Shit! Friender! _What was I thinking? _

As I panicked, pacing back and forth, a little voice came behind me.

"Pretty."

Surprised, I sprang back to find a little girl. She had a carefree smile on her face. It was radiant, brilliant. I haven't seen one of these in a long time. Even before the ruin, it was hard to find such innocence. She reached out one chubby hand towards me.

"Are you a human?"

She was brimming with hope, joy and excitement. I can't possibly lie to her. But I don't want to disappoint her. Shit, I'll just wing it.

_"No."_

The sheer eloquence makes me weep. Seriously? The most advanced being on the planet, super-efficient killer, master liar, and "_No" _was the best I could do? Oh god, I'm bad with kids.

The kid was unperturbed.

"So, you're the same as Casshern!"

She declared brightly. His name, once again, struck a chord in my heart.

"_Ah, I suppose."_

Another masterpiece by me. Jeez, can I get any more poetic than this? No, wait. That's not the point here. I didn't know Casshern was such a sociable person.

"_You know Casshern?"_

She giggled and nodded.

"My name is Ringo! What's yours?"

Before I was could answer, peals of tinkling laughter filled the air. The kid, Ringo, was buzzing with energy. She spun in circles, dancing with the air. Her eyes were the color of strawberry milk, sweet and rich, framed by a tangled mass of curls. I opened my mouth to reply, but it broke into a grin instead. I may not be good with kids, but that doesn't mean I don't like them.

"Ringo!"

A call sounded in the distance. My eyes trailed towards the voice. It settled on a weathered old man. Orange lenses peeked out from under a tattered cap. I can sense the gaze underneath the goggles. Guarded and cautious.

The girl scrambled over and jumped into his arms.

"Ohji, Ohji! She's just like Casshern! Look, she's so pretty.."

"Yeah. Come on, now. We're leaving."

He grunted as he shifted her, and carried her off. I don't think he likes me much. I tilted my head. Well, I don't give a rat's fart about what he thinks. Ringo was waving frantically with both hands. When I returned her desperate waves with a flick of wrist, she looked like she was gonna split her face with that smile. Cupping her face, Ringo hollered.

"Hey, what's your name?"

I mimicked her actions, cupped my mouth and yelled back.

A gust of wind roared over us.

She gave a little frown. I don't think she caught my voice, for she repeated her actions and asked again. This time, I gave a tiny smile and shook my head. The old man had carried her away, to resume their journey in this rotting world. I wonder where the wind carried my name to.


End file.
